"Na-na-na-na"

Solly loves animals. He hugs his owl (a Hedwig Harry Potter one I call Butterbeer because I don’t accept pre-named animals) every morning while squealing and enveloping him in a big baby hug. He had the thrill of his life last month when we visited the LA Zoo with my friend Jantre and a swan paddled over to just us. I will never stop feeling an explosion of self worth when a zoo animal chooses me.

AND...Solly turned a year old last week!!! WHAT?! Where did that shortest/fastest year go?! In what other year of our lives do we triple our weight, start off a crying noodle blob and then end the year walking and understanding that throwing food is funny? Has anyone made a documentary about this?! Or at least written a book?

In what other year of my life did I have a giant growth in the front that turned into a human, someone moved my bladder and intestines to the OUTSIDE of my body to get the human out, blacked out during this and told Rob I’d like to buy a Christmas Tree farm, then squeezed more life out of the boobs in the staff bathroom twice a day at work and had anxiety every time that I hadn’t locked the door to the teenage hallway properly, and finally, told students to stop asking if I was pregnant again because the body is like a balloon and once expanded fully, will always look slightly with child.

We just went to our one year pediatrician visit and were told by Dr. Narayan that we should reserve “no” for a few things that are dangerous or hurtful to others so it really has an impact when we say it. I explained that it’s been hurtful when Solly expresses disinterest in theatre by crawling down the aisle and/or trying to crawl onstage and asked if this falls into the “No” category. I was told “No.” Which seems hypocritical. Then I remembered I’m 36. Dr. Narayan told us that we should redirect Solly or distract him if he is behaving poorly.

It’s really hard not to say no when you are trying not to say no because it means you’re thinking about no more often. When Solly tries to eat cat litter or sticks his hand in the garbage I have spontaneous new language that erupts as I try to repress the word “No.”  

“Ah ah ah - oooo - yeeee - yuck yuck yuck urghh dkn dkn dkn.”

Well that’s all fine and good until my made up language goes out the window when the cat pees on the floor and you yell “no-no-no-no” or the cat scratches the couch and you yell “no-no-no-no” or the cat licks your popcorn and you yell “no-no-no-no-shit-really?”

If it weren’t for Snug the cat, and the couple times Solly’s tried to touch an outlet, he wouldn’t have heard “no” much yet. Damn cat and outlets. Now it’s become his sound of choice.

“Na-na-na-na” stands for “No” and also “Mama” because he hasn’t mastered “M” yet, which is confusing because “Na-na-na-na” is now used to repel and compel me.

What makes it even more complicated is that “Na-na-na-na” also means:

“I want water”

“I don’t want clothes. At all”

“We’ve overread this book, tell me you realize this too”

“I want to touch that heavy picture frame hanging on the wall by a small hook”

“Lift me up so I can see into the microwave and open and shut the door”

“Don’t make cow sounds anymore that was so this morning and now it’s late morning.”

“Lift me up so I can see in the dryer and open and shut the door”

“Why did you sing that song like you are on a stage, this is my nook turned nursery with a bookcase wall and this space is for gentle singing”

“I would like to open and shut your shirt - how does this work with fabric”

“Don’t kiss me right now, I must examine this speck on the floor”

“Lift me up so I can open and shut the picture frame”

Solly knows other words. “Dada,” just to name the only one.

Dr. Narayan also brought up “replacement behaviors” at our visit. Instead of saying “No” we’ve tried “gentle hands,” when Solly reaches for the cat. The same cat that taught him “No” in case you’ve forgotten. So this is the part of the story where there is redemption in the form of coincidence not necessarily intention, from the cat. Understanding “gentle hands” is tricky. But not when what you want will get up and run off if you are not gentle. Thank you, Snug the cat.

Now, if we say “gentle hands,” Solly goes slow so the flowers don’t walk away, the newborn infant doesn’t get up and leave, and the pop up book pages don’t escape to hide under a blanket.   

1 point for Snug, 0 for the parents.  

Now, onto disciplining a toddler. Solly is walking! Bye bye babyhood!

He’s waking up from a nap right now and saying “Na-na-na-na” so I guess I better go. Or stay.