I'm A Rockstar

I seek music when I’m so excited I can’t contain myself, when I’m too sad to get up but need to show up with a smile for my students, when I’m angry, when I feel jealous, and when there’s a problem with no foreseeable solution. I choose music. Because it’s magic. It changes the chemistry of my brain and makes the mountain a molehill. I choose music by turning on the radio, by nerding out to musical theatre soundtracks, and by showing up to rehearse with Selah Gospel Choir every Tuesday night for a few hours. Music is for all, and so is Selah. Their mission statement is inclusion and diversity on many levels (age, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation/identity).

Until May 23rd 2017, I’d always found music. But on this day, music found me.

It started with an email sent out in mass to our choir that simply said, “Who can do something Tuesday from 10am-7pm?” I assumed it was probably something fun. Occasionally we get asked to do events outside our normal concerts. I replied, “Wish I could, but I have to work.”

Then came a second email, since the lack of detail from the first probably left everyone responding as I did.

“Don’t share with anyone, but the gig Tuesday is with U2 on Jimmy Kimmel Live!”

Within seconds I was figuring out how to get people to cover my classes at both schools.

As I alluded to in my past blog, I’ve been going through some medical things that are not life or death, but do take a toll on me emotionally. I have been reaching out with both arms for music to carry me through. Sometimes I’m in pain and so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, but I still make it out to my rehearsals in Pasadena till 10pm and drive 30 minutes home. But this? THIS?! Music was finding ME! AND IT WAS ASKING ME TO JOIN IN! Jimmy Kimmel shoots a few blocks from my apartment! So literally, this gift had shown up on my doorstep. And that was what last Tuesday was. A gift. I can’t describe it. But I’ll try.

We arrived in the Kimmel green room at 10am with strict instructions not to act like excited fans. We all took deep breaths and tried to act professional when inside the 46 of us were like giddy kids who had their choice of marshmallows, gumdrops, or chocolate lava cake for dinner. We miss-stepped a few times. There was the one choir member who took a picture where they weren’t supposed to, and the others of us who accidentally went to the wrong Kraft services table… But other than that, we did a good job of containing ourselves!

We’d done another gig at Coachella last year and we knew from that experience, that sometimes the backup singers or choir never actually rehearses with the “star” talent. So we prepare without them and walk in the room ready to go.

We walked onto the set of Kimmel and I fully expected to run the song on our own. We were to come in with U2 on the last third of his song “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” The Kimmel stage manager sat us in the audience and explained that we would be a special surprise. We’d hide microphones under our seats and act like normal audience members until it was time to stand and sing with U2! We nodded and kept doing our best not to look too excited. I was physically shaking and Jantre had to hold my hand. After that she distracted me with “Waiting for Guffman” quotes.

Well, just when we thought we were done and they’d send us back to our trailers till filming at 4pm, in walks U2!!! Jimmy Kimmel followed them and now I was doing the silent scream into my hand that my 7th grade girls do when they see Nathan Mendoza flip his hair back and forth. He’s got great hair. Not the best at focusing, but great hair. U2 spoke to us! Then he rehearsed with us at least four times! He said, “Selah you guys sound incredible!”

I looked at Jantre. Um. U2 just told us we sounded incredible. WHAT?! Let that moment forever follow me to my grave. Come to think of it, why not just put it on my grave.

Fast forward to show time! We sat among the regular audience members and I prepared my list of in-depth facts in case I had to prove my U2 fan status next to the muggle public. When U2 came on for the Kimmel interview we cheered like everyone else, all the while knowing that our secret sing was inching closer and closer! Jantre and I made it our goal to try to encourage the band between commercial breaks. They seemed a little awkward up there between takes and so since Jantre have so much stage experience as seasoned musical theatre wonders (nerds), we knew they just needed some quick eye contact and thumbs up to stay in the game. We suddenly took our job very earnestly and began giving The Edge thumbs up signs and waves between takes as if to say “Hey! You are doing great at your interview and we can’t wait for our secret sing to happen!”

…and…he smiled and waved back! And even nudged Larry and he waved too. But let me be clear – it was not U2 merely waving to some excited fans. We were PART of them for this afternoon and we shared a secret. Thank goodness The Edge had Jantre and I to give him some encouragement because he seemed to really nail his interview after that.

Well, soon it came to the part of the interview where U2 stands up and the Joshua Tree image appears. The gag was that Larry Mullen would push Kimmel off because he was “blocking the picture” and on rolled the band’s instruments as they jumped into their song. I was cheering and shaking and couldn’t wait till the moment where our first choir members Matt and Jyvonne made their surprise stand up moments to sing! They sounded amazing and you could tell Bono was excited for our secret surprise! Then it was our turn! Bono said, “take it away Selah!” and when he did, he threw his arms up…but then the whole audience all stood up…oops! The gag was that we’d stand up as a choir from the audience but now almost everyone was standing and you wouldn’t really notice us – oh well! Who cares! We sang our hearts out anyway and man did we have a blast. If you look at the video in minute 5:58, you’ll see me with the mic on the right side of your screen with Steven and Jantre around me.

What an honor to have music find me. Thank you music. Thank you for this amazing day in the midst of a very hard couple of months. I needed you, and who knew you’d seek me out to back up Bono?!

The world is strange. And I’m better for it.